daydream

I imagine myself in a big, grassy playground. Just staring at the sky, waiting for rain or for the sunset, whichever comes first. Thinking deeply and inhaling the fresh sweet scent of the late afternoon. Can hear some children laughing at the other side of the playground, cries of joy for their first swing, scared screams on their first climb to the slides.

I miss being free and innocent. Look at those children-- they're free, they don't worry about anything, they have no pretentions, they have no heartaches. They live each day with such zest and vigor that you wonder where they get all that energy. And we adults sometimes dread each sunset, knowing that we're left to live another day with the same worries that we had the previous day.

While sitting there, just watching the people, a memory crossed my mind. There was a time in my life that the dark comforted me. The dark and (literally) loud music. Me just singing my heart out and dancing like no one's watching. It soothes my soul. It just dawned on me that I never do that anymore.

And it hit me. There are other things that I enjoy so much that I don't do anymore! Paint. Write poems. Walk in the mornings with tatay. Sing my heart our. Learning new things. Play with the dog. Read old copies of Reader's Digest (remember Word Power?hehe). Listen to old albums/ records. Hang out at the kubo. Read old journals. (Come to think of it... so many things to do!! )
We often say that we don't do those things anymore because we're so busy. And I'm not even busy! I keep bitching about my job not being too challenging and yet, I don't have time to do what I used to do before. I wonder why?

Maybe this time I'll find the time.

I sit back and held my head back to enjoy the last blast of sunshine on my face. Warm sunshine reminds me of the tingly feeling I get whenever ... Never mind. I look up and then I saw this one lonely star. Automatically I chanted:

"Starlight, starbright first star I see tonight;I wish I may, I wish I might;Have the wish I wish tonight"

And I smiled. Silly ol' childhood memories came flooding back. Afternoons of playing patintero or riding the bike around the village til the first star comes up and me and my friends start to chant that very same chant.

Memories. Sometimes, it helps us go through life. Life is good.

I need a pray-over. Haha.