thoughts @ 2am

I sometimes am the type of person who worries a lot and overanalyze over the littlest things. Sometimes it's a necessity because our job requires it - we handle different types of people and we're expected to see "growth" while they're under our supervision. It's a difficult job.


And it *is* very stressful. A few years ago, I see this job as a way of socializing, meeting new people, learning new things. Everything felt new back then - I was getting used to being outside every single day. It was nothing, I enjoyed every second. It felt like I was just playing, while getting paid for it.


After 8 years of doing this job, it now a different story. I have climbed up since then, felt the same way, but eventually felt how difficult it is to be looked up to and be expected a lot from. It's even more difficult when you don't have your friends around to keep you stapled to the ground.


It's my 3rd call center. I am grateful that I have a job, and I am happy with all the experiences that I continue to gain the longer I stay here. But everything just gets so damn monotonous! There are days when you practically drag yourself from your bed, to the bathroom, to the office. When you're at your desk, you just stare at the monitor til you find yourself dozing off while your eyes are still wide open. And then you do your stuff and you zone out again from what you're doing and it's another cycle of staring at the monitor, yawning in between and wondering if you'll get glaucoma from staring too much on the monitor.


Work's no longer fun like it used to be. I definitely agree that fun should come from what kind of team you mold, but, can you blame me? I'm just too tired - no recognition for all the work, no vacation (pahipan naman kasi mag file ng VL!), no "good job!" for all the the effort and passion you put into the job.


I am now the monotonous office worker who wakes up at 6pm, gets ready for work, goes to work, "work",then goes home again to sleep. Boring, boring, boring. I don't even get to talk to my bro and sisters anymore. The ony social time that I have is when I'm with Pol (thank God!).


Sigh. I really think I need a vacation. We're planning to go to Bohol then Cebu on the 1st week of December. Baguio by November (for Pol's bday). Can't wait.


Back to work.


Sigh.